The Hotel Opening Bug
I have identified a peculiar virus that, every so often, makes its way into the back hallways of hotels. The virus targets an area of the brain, causing a confusion, resulting in the unsuspecting victim agreeing to participate in the opening of a hotel. Interestingly enough it only seems to strike certain people, over and over again. The symptoms that rapidly follow are at the very least abnormal and very often not rational. As of yet there is no cure. If you have one or more of the following symptoms seek help immediately or you may be opening a new hotel soon:
- You feel like your normal, very busy, 12 to 14 hour days are just not cutting it. You want 15 to 24 hour work days. You don’t want to be busy, you want to be in a sheer panic.
- You begin to loathe the fact that people you work with have been doing there jobs in the same area for a while and are therefore organized, prepared, and ready to help. You dream of a day when everyone is desperately trying to figure it out at the same time, depending on each other but not completely knowing what to do and when. That way you can add to the sheer panic of bullet point one, and that sounds good to you.
- You look around the area you work at and realize you know where most things are, and where to get them. You hate that. You want to search for hours for things like a slotted spoon or a sheet pan. Knowing for sure that there are 4000 of them somewhere. If there are several floors to search on… all the better. Awesome!
- You realize that most days you know at least 85 percent of what is going to happen, you have a good game plan and can handle most things with grace. That sounds terrible to you, you want to go into each day with only the vaguest of plans, you want to shoot from the hip with little ammo, which you cannot find, and an untested gun which may or may not have even arrived yet.
- Your feet feel fine, no good! You feel the overwhelming desire to wear out a pair of shoes that are supposed to last for a year in 14 days.
- You feel that even at the worst state of exhaustion you will be ready to go out for a few drinks. If someone could carry you there and back… all the better.
- You long for the day when you and your fellow “affected comrades” have the appearance of well weathered tombstones and the gaze of someone who has seen a terrible future. Dusty, worn out and tired, you want to limp through the halls …trying to find things.
- You hate it when people make schedules and stick to them. You need chaos and uncertainty. The more people that can interrupt your hard and very important work for training classes and meetings the better.
- You begin to abhor your normal meal schedule. You long for a time when you work all day long, but are so busy you forget to eat. You envision yourself late at night, hungry, eating a chicken skin and butter sandwich on stale bread because it’s the only thing you can find.
- You don’t want to do things once! No! you want people to change their minds so you can do then several times! Yes, now you’re talking!
My friends, again I tell you, if you are noticing these symptoms there may be a hotel opening in your future! Get some good shoes and some rest because you are in for a wild ride. However after it’s over you will always be able to look at that magnificent structure and know you were there! Grand Opening!
Congratulations Omni Nashville! It was an honor to be there with you!
To the Families of those affected. Much Love for the support and understanding! You are the best.
There is no Thyme like the present,